pressure valve
good morning you,
since beginning to work with adrenal fatigue, i've been aware of a feeling of pressure along the right side of my body. from above my shoulder, pressing down and down through my ribcage and abdomen. it was much relieved from my ashram visit. recently it has returned. i have more awareness than i did before. still, i am not sure how to work with it. my doc says, get your kootenay woman mojo going. i laugh, and i know what he means.
regaining trust in my intuition after thinking that it failed me miserably. why? because the outcome has been so different from where i thought i was headed. tolstoy writes in what men live by:
perhaps my relationship to intuition was too simplistic before: cause--effect. another lesson in the mystery school of life.
tolstoy goes on to say, in that story, that humans live by and for love. is that all that is needed? what about the "right" food, herbs, exercise, chores, thoughts, words? all those things, how and what we eat, how we move, what we do, our thoughts and our speech, are vehicles for love. they can be loving, they can be harmful. they can support, relax, settle, ground, enrich me and they can harm me, give me itchy skin and anxious windy interior weather and unbearable heat, they can hurt our hearts.
which reminds me of mary oliver, and her thought that i have been mulling over,
you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
this has led me to realize that there is a difference between what my mind loves, such as pecans, and what my body loves, such as not pecans. choosing mind over body often leads me to distress.
oh, how to do all this goodness without pressure. opening to that mystery, wondering.
since beginning to work with adrenal fatigue, i've been aware of a feeling of pressure along the right side of my body. from above my shoulder, pressing down and down through my ribcage and abdomen. it was much relieved from my ashram visit. recently it has returned. i have more awareness than i did before. still, i am not sure how to work with it. my doc says, get your kootenay woman mojo going. i laugh, and i know what he means.
regaining trust in my intuition after thinking that it failed me miserably. why? because the outcome has been so different from where i thought i was headed. tolstoy writes in what men live by:
it is not given to (hu)man to know his bodily needs...it was not given to the mother to know what her children needed for their lives. nor was it given to the rich man to know what his true needs were. nor is it given to any man to know, before the sun has set, whether he will need boots for his living body or slippers for his corpse.
perhaps my relationship to intuition was too simplistic before: cause--effect. another lesson in the mystery school of life.
tolstoy goes on to say, in that story, that humans live by and for love. is that all that is needed? what about the "right" food, herbs, exercise, chores, thoughts, words? all those things, how and what we eat, how we move, what we do, our thoughts and our speech, are vehicles for love. they can be loving, they can be harmful. they can support, relax, settle, ground, enrich me and they can harm me, give me itchy skin and anxious windy interior weather and unbearable heat, they can hurt our hearts.
which reminds me of mary oliver, and her thought that i have been mulling over,
you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
this has led me to realize that there is a difference between what my mind loves, such as pecans, and what my body loves, such as not pecans. choosing mind over body often leads me to distress.
oh, how to do all this goodness without pressure. opening to that mystery, wondering.
k
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