today in the laboratory

wow, very interesting day in the human experiment called kate. after meditation this morn i wrote:

restless, tired, laziness, resistance to doing--chores, phone calls, trip prep. 

uneasiness about permanent resident card--to call. fear of feeling stressed. 

anger at losing card, money fee, hassle, bureaucracy, myself. 

so i knit for a bit, finished purl bee's heel stitch hat in debbie bliss andes--so soft and delicious, i wish i could show it to you, how it glistens silver in the sunshine above the snow.

on my last few stitches, aargh, the replacement of my permanent resident card and how i'm going to return to canada in a month was weighing on me. oh, i did not want to do anything about it. i did not. i wanted to lie down on the couch there with my wool and not move. eat that frog, i thought. yes. mark twain wrote, if you eat a live frog first thing in the morning, the rest of your day can only get better. it's true.  just get up and eat it, i told myself. so i did. i called. i cried a bit. fretted with my mother-in-law (bless her). then i put on jennifer berazan's praises for the world. and then i printed and copied and filled in small boxes, i got it as done as i can at home without a credit card (lost that, too). and, damn, i feel good.

 the music was balm to the doing. i forget, sometimes, how music moves me. even from a can. 

it's amazing how differently i feel from this morning. i keep wondering whether i ate some chocolate or matcha or 5-htp. because i feel almost hyper. the sun is shining, i've eaten really well all day, my friends were over yesterday, and i have dealt with that darn lost card. 

and yes, i knit the hat for myself. a week before christmas. daring. incredible, actually. because i'm going to texas on the 22nd (!) all my gift making is complete. pretty sweet. so now i'm racing to finish things for myself. because it will be much warmer down there, but cold at night, so i need some special, weather-appropriate woolies, different from those i already have. really, i do. 

be well,

kate