overthrow any government inside that makes you weep

hello friends,

in an effort to wake myself from this grey foggy stupor of late night dance party, too much chocolate and the general ennui of dreams not coming true, i opened my journal. there on the first page: what happens when i let go of control and allow what wants to happen?  indeed.

is this why i have been taking short walks, eating fried potatoes and watching hours of downton abbey? perhaps this is what really wants to happen. doing anything productive or progressive, such as yoga, has been feeling like a beating stick. because secretly, i think it's bad to walk only to the top of the hill, bad to eat fried food and very, very bad to watch television, even without the commercials.

my only choice is trust the process.

perhaps this is my soul's adolescence: enthralled by my own drama and revolting against the dictator within: you're not the boss of me! the famous line from the first argument i remember having with a friend. we must have been five or six, climbing the oak tree, and she yelled that at me. then, as now, i am shocked: me, bossy?

and on that laugh, good day,

kate.