juicing

leaning into the juicy, lush, yes-ness the the universe seems to be insisting from me. in several forms, from a nephew's painting with the word yes glued center stage to a pocket hedgehog named yes (from another little fellow dear to my heart) to my therapist's gentle, pressing reminders--i am being asked to embrace, indulge, abound, relish.

so it's hours in the garden ignoring supper that ought to be cooked.

it's eating the first cupcake before the party (dang, that made me happy).

it's lunch at the cafe with family i see once or less a year.

it's dancing, being massaged, throwing out old socks, buying sourdough bread, having chocolate on my breakfast crepes.

it's dreaming of a camera, mine, that is simple and can take depth-of-field images.

it's enjoying special, magic substances that give me grins and glowing soft heartful moments.

playing with saying yes more.

where did all those rules and regulations come from, anyways? whew, they have been running the show for a long time. you know. you've been telling me for years to do what brings me joy, to follow my bliss. some part of me has felt afraid that if i did that, i would harm others--thinking of gasoline, far away foods, our bank account. i hear you and i'm beginning. beginning with observing: i want to do that...

years ago, when samwell and i first stepped out into the closer-to-wilderness, i experimented with doing only what i wanted to do. imagine my surprise last week when, at the very end of my counsel session, she said, don't do anything you don't want to do. 

something important this way comes. i listen.

kate.