rain dissolves snow
hello you,
it's a funny day--chores done by nine a.m., thanks to hot chocolate, kundalini class and groceries and then hours in hokitika, nz, trying to decipher the murder mystery. and rain and rain and rain, dissolving the enlightening snow.
been playing in my body a lot. letting myself go to classes, (the money, the schmoney), learning and exploring inside here. we are such mysteries--what is self and what is soul and how can i feel so much rolling my pelvis back and forth on the floor? then when the body stops beating, what is that? and why don't we get to KNOW?! aieee...
this week i held my first social gathering related to earth house. it went okay. afterwards, i uncomfortably watch myself with the "okay-ness," again, what is me and what isn't me? the pouring rain: not me. the desire to stay outside in it: me. what was organized well: me. what wasn't organized well: me.
i have the idea that a well organized ritual is more sacred than a chaotic one. coyote's laughing.
i'm in that pre-winter gift making mode when i just want to lie on the couch and read my novel. it's so good. and i really don't enjoy the first row of knitting when i have to struggle with each cast-on stitch. or the pre-candle making morning when i have to dig everything out of the basement. steiner would say this is a will moment. time to work the muscle and get the needles clicking. i know i'll be so pleased when they're done. maybe tomorrow. sigh.
good news is, i've been here before. and the little bundles of light-filled loving yumminess always get to their people at solstice. sometimes (okay, usually) less inside there than i dreamed in august, but still there, nurturing when we need it most.
k.
it's a funny day--chores done by nine a.m., thanks to hot chocolate, kundalini class and groceries and then hours in hokitika, nz, trying to decipher the murder mystery. and rain and rain and rain, dissolving the enlightening snow.
been playing in my body a lot. letting myself go to classes, (the money, the schmoney), learning and exploring inside here. we are such mysteries--what is self and what is soul and how can i feel so much rolling my pelvis back and forth on the floor? then when the body stops beating, what is that? and why don't we get to KNOW?! aieee...
this week i held my first social gathering related to earth house. it went okay. afterwards, i uncomfortably watch myself with the "okay-ness," again, what is me and what isn't me? the pouring rain: not me. the desire to stay outside in it: me. what was organized well: me. what wasn't organized well: me.
i have the idea that a well organized ritual is more sacred than a chaotic one. coyote's laughing.
i'm in that pre-winter gift making mode when i just want to lie on the couch and read my novel. it's so good. and i really don't enjoy the first row of knitting when i have to struggle with each cast-on stitch. or the pre-candle making morning when i have to dig everything out of the basement. steiner would say this is a will moment. time to work the muscle and get the needles clicking. i know i'll be so pleased when they're done. maybe tomorrow. sigh.
good news is, i've been here before. and the little bundles of light-filled loving yumminess always get to their people at solstice. sometimes (okay, usually) less inside there than i dreamed in august, but still there, nurturing when we need it most.
k.
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